HarperCollins marketing department has issued the following:
13 Reasons to Avoid Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events
- Your worst enemy might sit right next to you, and you won’t know it because it will be dark.
- There is probably some delicious holiday fruitcake waiting for you at home.
- The only thing worse than a sinister villain is a sinister villain whose face is projected on a screen several stories high.
- The weather outside is frightful, and so is this movie.
- If you see it once, you might be tempted to see it again.
- You’d probably rather fight off crowds at the mall, as long as they are not carrying torches.
- It is very difficult to hide underneath a seat in a movie theater unless you are very small.
- If you know anything at all about Lemony Snicket, the Baudelaire orphans, or Count Olaf, you know that flash flooding may occur as a result of audience weeping.
- The movie is always worse than the books.
- Like singing Christmas carols in the trunk of an automobile, it won’t make you feel very cheery.
- Concession stands in movie theaters do not sell blindfolds.
- A cozy fire at home is much better than a home on fire.
- Only a person who enjoys dark rooms, sticky floors, stale popcorn, and unhappy endings could possibly have a good time.